Tonight I failed as a mum. I’ve numbered it as #1 because I know there’ll be more (and of course there’s been others prior to this).
Tonight I called my daughter an idiot. I didn’t mean to, it was a heat of the moment situation.
We were quietly bonding at the dinner table over how to crochet when the phone rang. In her haste to answer the phone, she pushed the dining chair back – which is a powder coated steel replica Tolix chair – causing it to fall back onto the tiled floor, creating a loud noise. It startled me and in my fright I called her an idiot. Not my best work
Of course, she was upset – what a shithead am I? I covered her with kisses and cuddles and told her – and my son – that I don’t mean it when I say mean words; that everytime I call them a mean word, they can say to themselves that I am that mean word; and to never listen or pay attention to me when I say mean things.
We’re friends again. We hung out in her room for a while and had a chat and all is good. But I still feel like shit. And it makes me wonder: is this something that my daughter will remember when she’s older – that her mother called her an idiot? If I say it again (which I really hope I don’t), will she start to believe it? Have I scarred her for life because of my sudden Tourrets?
Have you ever “slipped” up and called your kids mean names? Hopefully I’m not alone in this.